How Gross!

I watched some videos on birthing the other day and made Sean sit and watch them with me - one on birth with epidural, one natural and a c-section. I'm sorry, but non of that is natural. It's all very gross and we don't plan on watching anything again. I understand why it's the miracle of life and all that, but good grief, can't they find another way of delivering. I kept telling Sean it all looked inhumane and undignified. Ewwwww!

After much prayer I've decided not to stress about the whole process and method. I will feel confident that I have done all I can to bring a healthy human into the world and rest in God's grace. I will stand the pain as long as I can and if I need an epidural - I'll take it. I don't plan on taking anything else and am so glad I have a doctor that is very understanding of my wants and preferences. Many woman would not agree with me but praise God for medical knowledge. I know that woman were made for giving birth, but many also died giving birth that could be saved now.

Oh, Baby!!

So, I'm 15 weeks pregnant. I figured I might as well start blogging about this mess called pregnancy. I know, it's a beautiful thing and all that. So far it hasn't been that beautiful for me. Sometimes I feel guilty because I can't seem to connect with my baby. How can I? I've been in pain since my fourth week and things haven't stopped. I dealt with an ulcer for about a month and had to take eight pills a day to heal it. I have pain everyday and pain at night. I wake up with stomach pain and painful gases. I can't brush my teeth without gagging.

Right now I feel great pressure in my chest and a dull pain in my stomach. To top it off, I'm starting to experience TMJ pain brought on by the pregnancy. I've also started dealing with my seasonal allergies that keep me up. They usually last about 3 months. I'm no wuss when it comes to pain, but I'm tired. I was ready for the normal pregnancy issues, but not for this. I'm also told that things won't get any better. Great. I will pray and pray and pray.

Sean has been great - beyond great. Amazing. In the last 3 months I've cooked about 5 meals and have spent much time on the couch or crying. He's never complained and does all he can to help me. He's been an amazing husband and support.

I have my 4 month check up of Friday.